Little statues. Candles. Alters.
People on their knees chanting incantations. Is this a common occurrence in
your life? Probably not. However, it does not mean that you are free from
idolatry. As a single, the desire for a husband can quickly become an idol that
will consume your life and keep you from thriving.
An idol is something someone wants
so desperately that she is willing to sin to get it, or willing to sin if she
does not get it. We can desire a relationship so desperately that we are
willing to take our eyes off Christ and convince ourselves that it will bring
satisfaction. Idolatry in other words is dissatisfaction: dissatisfaction with
our singleness, our job, our family, the list goes on and on. We let that
dissatisfaction grow until it has become an all-consuming passion. Let us look
at what Jeremiah wisely said in Jeremiah 2:11-13: "But my people have
changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, O heavens at
this, be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the Lord, for my people have
committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and
hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no
water." That relationship (anything really) we want most? It will not
satisfy us, or heal us, or comfort us. It is broken. We invest time, money and
great energy into pursuing our idol, and the most it might do is give a moment
of selfish pleasure, and then it will leave us as dry as we were before.
Idolatry may also manifest itself
in lust, a desire for something sensual that we cannot have. We usually hear
sermons directed at men in this area, but we must not be naïve. We hide our
sensual desires and assume that since we are not participating in pornography,
we do not have a problem in this area. But this is not true. Those glances that
we steal are more than innocent. Those thoughts we think are just as much sin.
We must guard our hearts and practice self control with our eyes and minds.
Remember God’s call for us in Romans 12:1-2 "I appeal to you therefore,
brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be
conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that
by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable
and perfect.” He wants us to be holy, to be presenting our bodies (and minds)
to Him as a sacrifice. We can do this because of His mercy! We can say no to
those thoughts that creep in. We can say no to those desires. We can be pure.
So, what now? Is it wrong to desire
marriage? Carolyn McCulley encourages us: “It's not
wrong to want a good thing,
especially a good thing that God created…It's the strength of that desire that
we have to monitor. When that desire becomes so dominating that our worship of
God is dented or diminished, we know right away that we have crossed the line
into idolatry. We can't be satisfied with all of our other blessings, because
we run everything through the growing demand for a husband. Here are some
warning signs to consider:
You find it hard to pray because
you think God doesn't want to bless you.
You aren't thankful for all the
other answered prayers and blessings in your life.
You withdraw from others who are
getting married or in relationships. (I do understand how hard it can be when
someone else enters a relationship, especially with a man you are interested
in. Being knocked off-balance by disappointment is common and it takes time to
grieve lost hopes. But it should be temporary...)
You go to church more aware of
the human relationships around … than your relationship with God.
You think you have no purpose in
the Kingdom because you are single, so therefore you don't serve others in the
church or outside of it. You've begun to believe the Enemy's lie that nothing
good can come out of this season of your life.
Any discussion of marriage or
singleness is a sore spot for you, one that keeps bringing you back to the idea
that God is withholding something good from you.” From her blog
solofemininity.blogs.com
I would
add manipulation to Carolyn’s warning signs. I once heard someone talk
about manipulation and I walked away thinking, "I am good on that. I do
not manipulate." And then my eyes were opened to how manipulative my
actions actually were. What about you? Do you ever position yourself so
"that guy" has the best chance to hear you, or see you? Do you say
things or talk to certain people in hopes that he will notice you? Do you
initiate conversations with him so that you have a better chance of
"getting him?" Now, initiating conversations is not necessarily
wrong, but you need to be careful. It is the guy's role to initiate and lead,
not ours. Manipulation is a sin. There are so many ways in which we manipulate:
our clothes, body language, words, actions, and attitudes. Do you want a
relationship or marriage that came about by your manipulation? I want one that
God ordained and made happen, not me!
Singles: search your hearts for
idols and repent. You do not have to fight your desire for
marriage. But desire God’s will more. And just as it is not wrong to desire
marriage, it is not wrong to have feelings for someone. Emotions are real, and
given to us by God. But we need to guard against those emotions running out of
control. Our emotions come from our thoughts, so let us guard our thoughts and
think on truth.
Marrieds: we need people to keep
us accountable to right thinking and living. Do not be afraid to ask the hard
questions of the single gals in your life. Ask about their lives. Ask what idols
they have. And then be a support and help them in their journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment