Trust?

It is this time of the year that we look forward to the meeting that starts the process for applying for a short term team for the summer. As I see where God has brought me the last year since last year's meeting, I am blown away by the work that God has done in my heart. Yep, Venezuela was 2006, what will 2007 bring? Yes, it might bring an overseas trip. It might bring other neat things into my life. But I know one thing that it will bring is this: a lesson in Trust ( a continued lesson on this important issue!)
Trust: do I trust the Lord? Do I trust that He alone is Good and that He alone WILL provide for me? I have been wrestling with trusting God reallly since Venezuela. Let me clarify. God used some things in Venezuela (His Word mostly) to show me that I don't trust Him. Sure, my heart thinks it does, but it doesn't. The Creator God of the Universe, loves me and cares for me, provides for my needs and stupid wants, blesses me, overwhelms me with daily grace and mercy, is working all things out perfectly in my life, is withholding nothing good from me and I lack trust. Why? Because I don't listen to His Word and I don't believe it. So, the last many months have been a wrestling with this, confronting my sin with the Truth of God's Word, yep, falling on my face in distrust and unbelief and all the while, God's grace pouring on my sinful heart.
That leads me to today. Still learning trust! I look forward to a summer that is full of UNCERTAINTY! No real source of income (as I teach and that means summer break and no money!), and a few other issues that cause my heart to worry and fret! So, what do I do? Worry and fret! Then God's truth confronts me and tells me to trust! Ok, Lord, only by your grace! Give me the faith to believe and trust You!
Along with that summer of no job, no money, etc. etc. etc. comes a huge desire to be used of God however I can be. AND!!! the possibility of going on a Short Terms Team overseas. As God gives my heart a desire for one particular place this summer, I am at a place where I need to trust again. Last year, I didn't really have one place I wanted to go, I was open to more than one place. This year, there is one place I really, really, really, really want to go. And yet, I know that if God puts me on another team, His grace will again comfort my heart and cause me to be joyful about that team and place. He always is faithful to guide my heart to a place that is ok, and joyful in where He places me. He is always faithful to overwhelm my heart with grace. He is always faithful to me, day in and day out, moment by moment! Oh may I be a faithful woman that brings Him glory at all times, in all areas of life!
(yep, the meeting is Sunday, with applications turned in soon and teams being chosen soon after! yep, praying for one particular place, but also praying that God would place me only on the team He wants me on, the team that I need to be on, where He can use me the most to His glory!)